Bevill Dungeon Thoughts by Christopher Johnson
Going through summer lab is an experience like no other. Hopefully these "Thoughts" will give you a little comic relief in what WILL be an otherwise eventful month.
Bevill Dungeons Thought Series: Thought #1
If a distillation column falls in the high bay lab and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound.
Bevill Dungeons Though #2:
If life gives you lemons make lemonade... and then do your distillation experiment and have a party.
Bevill Dungeon Thought #3
There's more than one way to skin a cat..... and exponentially more ways than that to screw up a proposal
Bevill Dungeon Though #4
Bad news travels fast.... and so does the foaming in your column
Bevill Dungeon Thought #5
A house is not a home..... because during summer lab you are required to live at bevill
Bevill Dungeons THought #6
Better late than never..... unless you are talking about summer lab, then you better never be late.
Bevill Dungeons Thought #7
Better to light a candle than curse the darkness.... unless of course you are in a room full of ethanol
Bevill Dungeon Thought #8
Blood is thicker than water..... So what does this say about the relationship between their capacity factors? Literature values are acceptable here.
Bevill Dungeon Thought #9
Many hands make light work..... but what if they are little hands or hands that are missing fingers. Is there a correlation or equation to account for size differential or number of fingers? What about a correlation for the different types of work?
Bevill Dungeon Thought #10
Don't cry over spilt milk.... Unless of course you just spilt it on the proposal you have worked on for 40 hours straight then by all means cry away and I'll cry with you
Bevill Dungeon Thought #11
Third time's a charm..... unless Dr. Ritchie is grading your proposal then its definitely 5 or more time's a charm
Bevill Thought #12
Two wrong's don't make a right..... trust me i know i've run the distillation column, so for your info neither do three, four, or five wrongs.
Bevill Dungeon Thought #13
The best things in life are free..... no wonder it costs so much to take summer lab
Bevill Dungeon Thought #14
If God had meant us to fly he'd have given us wings..... Lots and lots of red bull will be needed to make it thru summer lab
Bevill Thought #15
A poor workman always blames his tools..... it aint the instruments its just OPERATOR ERROR
Bevill Dungeon Thought #16
Live for today for tomorrow never comes... Oh no it comes but you just dont notice because there are no windows in the Bevill dungeon
Bevill Dungeon Thought #17
Nothing is certain but death and taxes..... Chem E's are the exception. Summer Lab is also certain along with all the mental and psychological anguish that accompanies it. So feel special.
Bevill Dungeon Thought #18
Practice makes perfect.... you only get two days in lab so just skip straight to perfect.
Bevill Dungeon THought #19
Work expands so as to fill the time available..... I really think the regulator on this thing is broken
Bevill Dungeon Thought #20
It's an I'll wind that blows no one any good.... With all the fast food being eaten there are definitely a lot of ill winds bein blown around
Bevill Dungeon Thought #21
Great minds think alike.... So this is the reason why we all made the same mistakes on the distillation presentation
Bevill Dungeon Thought #22
From the sublime to the ridiculous is only one step..... and if all this red on our proposals is any indication we take that step a shit-ton.
Bevill Dungeon Thought #23
If you want a thing done well, do it yourself...... and then after your stupid ass screws it up you ask James Hill how to fix it.
Bevill Dungeon Thought #24
Moderation in all things.....(Note: work done on proposals and reports not included), dammit i knew i should have read the fine print
Bevill Dungeon Thought #25
It ain't over til the fat lady sings..... I have had a want ad in the newspaper for the past two weeks, "Looking to Hire Fat Female Singer for Easy Gig"
Bevill Dungeon Thought #26
Every man has his price...... Do you think Ritchie or Arnold would take a bribe in dining dollars?
Bevill Dungeon Thought #27
Hindsight is always 20/20..... Remind me again WHY I did not choose to be a business major.
Bevill Dungeon Thought #28
The cobbler always wears the worst shoes..... So as is apparent by the state of his boots, DA must be a cobbler
Bevill Dungeon Thought #29
There is truth in wine.... In order to find the truth in summer lab you gotta be drunk.
Bevill Dungeon Thought #30
All good things must come to an end.... So is summer a lab a good thing or will it never end... OH GOD PLEASE SAY IT ENDS
Bevill Dungeon THought #31
Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.... Well what if i forego sleep altogether does that speed up the process
Bevill Dungeon Thought #32
If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.... No I pretty much always end up Bevill no matter what
Bevill Dungeon Thought #33
A problem shared is a problem halved..... which is why they sure you are dealing with at least 10 problems throughout summer lab
Bevill Dungeon Thought #34
Don't burn your bridges behind you..... Unless that bridge leads to Bevill then burn that damn thing down behind you, in front of you, wherever that thing is BURN THE M***** F***** DOWN!!!!
Bevill Dungeon Thought #35
Fight fire with fire..... Hmmm so fire extinguishers are actually useless?
Bevill Dungeon Thought #36
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent...... Turn in a bad proposal to Ritchie and then you might rethink this one
Bevill Dungeon THought #37
There's no such thing as a free lunch.... Actually, DA skipped out of our proposal meeting because he was going to get a free lunch at the faculty meeting. So you stand corrected sir
Bevill Dungeon Thought #38
You are what you eat.... Sooooooooo right now im a combination of pbj sandwich, can of NOS, Starbursts, and gummi worms
Bevill Dungeon Thought #39
This is madness..... Madness, THIS IS SUMMER LAB!!!!
Bevill Dungeon Thought #40
Give credit where credit is due...... and ALWAYS blame your team leader for failures
Bevill Dungeon Thought #41
Carpe Diem.... I don't care if you just laid down; Get your ass out of bed, you have proposals and reports that aren't gonna get done by themselves.
Bevill Dungeon Thought #42
Cold Hands, Warm Heart..... AKA the onset of hypothermia
Bevill Dungeon Thought #43
First things first.... Cause if you ain't first you're last
Bevill Dungeon Thought #44
Forgive and Forget.... at least until the teammate evaluations
Bevill Dungeon Thought #45
Life's not all beer and skittles.... no shit sherlock because there are gummi worms, gummy bears, starbursts, and sour patch. Not to mention whiskey, vodka, rum, and tequila.
Bevill Dungeon Thought #46
The more things change, the more they stay the same..... No matter how much you think you have corrected your proposal/report it still isnt good enough and will be covered in red when you get it back
Bevill Dungeon Thought #47
Failing to plan is planning to fail..... I prefer to call this wingin it, it always keeps your day to day life exciting
Bevill Dungeon Thoughts #48
Cheats never prosper.... but i bet they get alot more sleep
Bevill Dungeon Thoughts #49
Honesty is the best policy..... Unless DA is looking for his "misplaced" boots. Then you lie like a dog
Bevill Dungeon Thoughts #50
If at first you don't succeed try, try and try again..... and then after the next meeting try again and again. How many is that? 5, alright try one more time
Bevill Dungeon Thought #51
There's safety in numbers.... but only if you chose the correct correlations